Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

A house from which nobody ever went away without feeling better in some way. A house in which there was always laughter.

Other people's opinion have no impact on your self esteem unless you allow it.

Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is.Come let us fart in the home.There is no art in a fart.Still a fart may not be artless.Let us fart and artless fart in the home.

In the book, I tell the story of seeing old movies when I was young and acting out scenes at home. Now I get scripts, and I act them out.

Class is classlessness.

Barack Obama is many things; among them, he is a tough and even ferocious political warrior.

I had everything working my way, strong as a bull. And still I ignored the rules of the game of life.

Work like an Arminian, sleep like a Calvinist.

If you would lift me up, you've got to be on higher ground.

One of my rules is, if Jesus or Taylor [Swift] calls, I take the call.