Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

The best way to succeed is to have a specific Intent, a clear Vision, a plan of Action, and the ability to maintain Clarity. Those are the Four Pillars of Success. It never fails!

When you have nothing left, you don’t have anything to lose.

Congratulations, " she said. "You win.

If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.

Kill them all; for God knoweth them that are His. (Tuez-les tous; Dieu reconnaitra les siens.)

Souls generally do not fall away from Christ because of the Creed; they first have difficulty with the Commandments.

I think one of the basic reasons men make good friends is that they can make up their minds quickly.

That's what hell must be like, small chat to the babbling of Lethe about the good old days when we wished we were dead.

In all cases where doubt crops up, ask yourself, "If I had a gun to my head and had to do it, how would I do it?" It's not as hard as you think.