Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."]

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

In my brain were stored a thousand pictures.

You were born rich and influential. You can do rich and influential in jammies and bunny slippers.

When two people are at one in their inmost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze.

Forget the Bible, the greatest argument against human evolution is a YouTube comment thread.

I'm constantly learning and evolving. I'm fascinated with life.

Integrity is the light that shines from a disciplined conscience.

A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it.

I prefer to sail in a bad ship with a good captain rather than sail in a good ship with a bad captain.

The secret of getting successful work out of your trained men lies in one nutshell—in the clearness of the instructions they receive.

In my view, Arafat is the only Palestinian in the world that isn't willing to have an independent Palestinian state.