Understudies don't normally get invited to openings.

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines

I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.

Why do people shush animals? Theyve never spoken

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

I'm a very lucky person. I'm an idiot, and I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don't feel like I deserve good treatment.

If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them [the n-word], that’s the worse word.

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.

I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.

God is the name we give to the science we don't understand. Science is the name we give to the God we don't understand.

If we keep bombing other people, that creates more anger. Tensions keep escalating.

Under our constitutional system, the executive executes the laws that Congress has passed. It should not be executing laws that Congress has rejected.

That the play is the tragedy, “Man,” And its hero, the Conqueror Worm.

In this global war against extremists who use murder as a weapon, Iraq is now the central front.

The secret of good cooking is, first, having a love of it.

Giving feels good. It is a form of healing. Not just for you as an individual, but for everyone.

Unlike the talent for war, the ability to make peace has always been rare.

Expose yourself as you are without trying to be someone else.

We will not keep silent, even if the Formula One is taking place. We will protest for human rights and freedom.