Unpleasant reading on the subject of anger tells us that there's not really anything wrong with it. In limited amounts. It can even be a good thing. A pressure valve.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

People can make it hard for you, they can discourage and take the heart out of you, but in the end the only person who can kill your dream is you. Don't ever give up.

The period of time between eligibility to vote and the start of adulthood is a window of opportunity that the liberals are willing to exploit to their advantage.

Like Jonah, the whale had swallowed me; unlike him, I believed I would spend eternity inside the belly of the beast.

Our children are for life our friends are here for the moment.

Our spoken word first hammers a thing desired into shape. Our continued spoken word brings this shaped substance forth and clothes it with a visible body.

Montague's just been found in a toilet, Sir.

It's a powerful thing to know that you are empowering someone to lift themselves out of poverty.

It is difficult to persuade mankind that the love of virtue is the love of themselves.

Attention, Texas Brigade! The eyes of General Lee are upon you. Forward, march!

Most people lived their lives like criminals: act first, worry about the consequences later.