Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

God speaks to those who are prepared in their hearts to listen. Discern the voice from heaven above the noisy din of earth’s confusion.

We have minds that are equipped for certainty, linearity and short-term decisions, that must instead make long-term decisions in a non-linear, probabilistic world.

Nothing's easier to talk about than surrendering ourselves and dying on the Cross. Nothing's harder than actually doing it.

We don't get any marks for effort like in ice-skating.

Life as a Christ follower will always be a learning process of depending less on our own strength and more on God's power.

Certainly, it's very easy to fall in love with cash. If you're going to make all your decisions based on cash, you're going to have a pretty naffy career.

Common sense is strengthened by joy.

You can smile when your heart is breaking because you're a woman.

Sometimes our best is simply not enough.... We have to do what is required.

President Obama is not polarizing, but the media sure is.