Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

We did not decide to be born hence

Teamwork makes the dream work, but a vision becomes a nightmare when the leader has a big dream and a bad team.

Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.

Enjoying the joys of others and suffering with them-these are the best guides for man.

A fool is a person who knows the difference between right and wrong, and chooses to do wrong.

Photogenic is a stupid, nonsensical word, but it is also a great mystery.

For some reason, people think of me as someone who can do anything I want. And I'm not. You know, I need someone to put up the money.

That nonviolence which only an individual can use is not of much use in terms of society.

Silence is so often applauded and those who speak out are often called tasteless.

Why should not we have a poetry and philosophy of insight and not of tradition, and a religion by revelation to us, and not the history of theirs?