Valkyrie: “You are such a moron.” Skulduggery: “Don't be jealous of my genius.

We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant

Doors are for people with no imagination.

I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.

I'm sophisticated, charming, suave, and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilized.

Kindness suits you." "Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.

The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven." "Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil

Well, for future reference, this is my serious face.

Plans are invitation to disappointment.

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.

Are you sulking?” “Me? No. I don’t sulk.” “You sound like you’re sulking.” “I’m just waiting for the violent urges to subside.

Either you fulfill your mission or make money. Choose the former.

She had spears of straw and grass in her hair, not like Ophelia gone mad through contact with Hamlet's madness, but because she had slept in some stable loft.

If you want to kill yourself, kill what you don’t like. I had an old self that I killed. You can kill yourself too, but that doesn’t mean you got to stop living."-Vargus, Archie’s Final Project

Sarcasm is one of the many services I offer to people who ask stupid questions!

I feel great. George W.Bush is leaving. We're leaving. It's all perfect timing.

For there are two distinct sorts of ideas: Those that proceed from the head and those that emanate from the heart.

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.

Let's stand up for taxpayers, let's stand up for consumers, and let's stand up for small businesses, which create most of the jobs in America.

The poem is a plank laid over the lion's den.

The writer's function is to prevent myths turning into allegories.