Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

With no one to fear him, it seemed at times as if he didn't exist at all.

The Maestro spoke again. "When we are not, at what point do we become?" I could not reply. For I had grasped no shape of his thoughts. I understood neither what he said nor his intent behind it.

I don't represent anyone's opinion. Not even my own. I'm neutral.

Believe it or not, I worked four summers in college as a sports writer covering baseball for a parks and rec department in Bayonne, N.J.

All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.

He made us realize that if the mind was willing, the body can go.

News events cannot be controlled, nor can newscasts be mapped out like entertainment shows.

I am, and have always been, a pornographic angel.

I hope that we have a culture that values every human life from the moment of conception to the moment of natural death.

I want to meet my God awake.