Very specifically, Nickelodeon is aimed at eight- and nine-year-olds.

I think comedians start off as pranksters or something.

A pope going through a faith crisis would be funny to see.

My doctor told me i had Attention Deficit Disorder. He said, 'ADD is a complex disorder, blah, blah, blah,' I didn't pay attention to the rest.

I have a swastika tattoo on my arm, but it's just because I like right-hand turns.

I think a bird is the worst present you can give somebody because it's guilt-ridden. This animal has the gift of flight, and you put it in a cage and watch it not do that until it dies.

I love doing different things where, for a little while, I can focus on standup then sketch writing, then performing, then directing a video. That, to me, is stimulating.

I like to edit; I like to work with other people, and that's something stand-up doesn't really have.

Every year, dads will dress up as Santa and try to surprise their kids by coming down the chimney, and every year, a dad gets stuck and dies.

My big influences are piano artists like Billy Joel and Elton John.

Shocking loss isn't to be shared, no matter how hard you try.

Àlways remember to make it a great day.

Families, I hate you! Shut-in homes, closed doors, jealous possessors of happiness

Men who would letterspace lower case would shag sheep.

Braggarts and rogues, dogs and scoundrels, drive them out, Harry Potter, see them off!

No one has to bear the burden of tough times all by themselves.

Luck comes to a man who puts himself in the way of it. You went where something might be found and you found something, simple as that.

Unimaginative people are spared quite a lot.

I always try to do something nobody else has done.