Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

You cannot betray others without betraying your inner positive self in the process.

A three-quarter moon, glowering bone, with a hint of something bruised, battered, scarred. The moon has endured more than anybody can know.

Some people are going to leave, but that's not the end of your story. That's the end of their part in your story.

Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.

Everything I know, see or hear, every part of my life is transformed into dresses. They are my daydreams, but they have passed from dreamland into the world of everyday items to wear.

It's almost always dangerous to be right too soon.

I love sports. If I could be a baseball player I would. I just am not good at it at all.

Gratitude is what starts the receiving process.

That which hits the fan tends to get flung in all directions.

When 'Desperate Housewives' ends, I think my girls will be about the kindergarten age. I will be so happy to be there for them through that huge transition.