Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

The true work of art is always on the human scale. It is essentially the one that says, 'less.

That's the reality of it. Everybody has a big two or three. The health of those big two or three ... there's a lot riding on it.

You are the knowing, not the condition that is known.

The only danger in Friendship is that it will end.

The nourishment of Cezanne's awkward apples is in the tenderness and alertness they awaken inside us.

I read Butterfly’s Child in one day, totally hooked. It is a captivating novel of love, guilt, sin, justice—and how all these things are, in time, transformed surprisingly and inevitably.

Warren Buffett is fond of saying that any player unaware of the fool in the market probably is the fool in the market.

I ride really bad when I overthink things.

My voice, at first rough and breaking on the high notes, warms up into something splendid. A voice that would make the mockingjays fall silent and then tumble over themselves to join in.

O Lord, self-renunciation is not the work of one day, nor children's sport; yea, rather in this word is included all perfection.