Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I have learned to thank God for what I cannot see, I have learned to trust God with what I cannot.

Oh sky...I won't ask so much as to become the sun or the moon, just one of the stars in between...

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

My proudest achievement has been the success of the shows and artists I have been involved with, because they were made in Britain.

I'm really a sucker for old, old movies. Like old film noir. I don't know. I also really enjoy independent movies.

It's not like I'm such a shiny happy person either, you know? I'm a wreck too, I'm just... still alive.

He who analyses blitz is stupid.

All of us are made up of the stories that we listen to, the ones we disagree with and the ones that we agree with.

Try to pick a profession in which you enjoy even the most mundane, tedious parts. Then you will always be happy

I'm sure this Jesus will not do Either for Englishman or Jew.