Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Be assured, a God who spoke the universe into existence would not need grains of dust to fight holy wars for him.

It is a great deal easier to do that which God gives us to do, no matter how hard it is, than to face the responsibilities of not doing it.

The rain was still crashing down, angrily machine-gunning the large windows; it poured through the gutters up in the tower and funneled along the flat roof, sounding like footsteps on the ceiling.

An observer situated in a nebula and moving with the nebula will observe the same properties of the universe as any other similarly situated observer at any time.

I wouldn't want the federal government dictating how I use my cameras, every community has their own issues and their own dynamics.

If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence.

I'm friends with Hank Azaria. We were on a show together 800 years ago, and we laugh every single time.

If there is a God, there is a map. If God has a map, his map is the true map.

A cat pours his body on the floor like water. It is restful just to see him.

Control yourself and no one else. And you will see the Truth my brother.