WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Now imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations.

Faye, if you got eaten by another shark, would you please at least have the decency to say so? My time is kind of limited, if you know what I’m sayin’.

I think the debate in our society now is that people have to agree on zero-tolerance to terrorism.

I've kept a diary since I was 11.

Sing the songs of joy to the Lord, serve the Name of the Lord, and become the servant of His servants.

Wealth cannot purchase any great private solace or convenience. Riches are only the means of sociality.

Sometimes you have to go places with characters and emotions within yourself you don't want to do, but you have a duty to the story and as a storyteller to do it.

The influence of coffee in stimulating the genital organs is notorious.

A man made for public life and authority never takes account of personalities; he only takes account of things, of their weight and their conseqences.

When everything seems to go wrong, with peace of heart, you can press on. With peace of heart, you can press on, whatever life brings.