Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

One wants to tell a story, like Scheherezade, in order not to die. It's one of the oldest urges in mankind. It's a way of stalling death.

We don't know Where God is, Who God is or What God is… BUT GOD IS! -RVM

We're all in this together - by ourselves.

I am not great at computers. If I were to try shopping through Google, I'd end up with 33 vests.

All liars ... lie to protect themselves, to shield their egos from the raw pain of truth.

It is when you are asking about something that you realize you yourself have survived it, and so you must carry it, or fashion it into a thing that carries itself.

Owning the Yankees is like owning the Mona Lisa.

Historical and public memory is not merely on the side of domination.

There's nothing worse than being disappointed in somebody.

Licker talks mighty loud w'en it git loose fum de jug.