Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.

A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.

The future is an opaque mirror. Anyone who tries to look into it sees nothing but the dim outlines of an old and worried face.

Archaeology is the peeping Tom of the sciences. It is the sandbox of men who care not where they are going; they merely want to know where everyone else has been.

Nothing is as far away as one minute ago.

Autumn carries more gold in its pocket than all the other seasons.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

Books, I found, had the power to make time stand still, retreat or fly into the future.

It is difficult to live in the present, ridiculous to live in the future, and impossible to live in the past. Nothing is as far away as one minute ago.

Mulligan: invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard grounder.

Gimme: An agreement between two losers who can't putt.

All artists are willing to suffer for their work. But why are so few prepared to learn to draw?

Sarcasm is the language of people whose emotions are dying.

International terrorism is throwing down a challenge, and not just to Russia.

There is a devil, and he knows my name.

The broom wasn't as comforting as a flamethrower would have been, but it was better than a mop and certainly more threatening than a feather duster.

The greatest composer does not sit down to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working.

I don't feel like a survivor. I feel left behind.

The liberal paradigm of regulation and license has led to a society where an 18-year-old girl has the right to public fornication in a pornographic movie - but only if she is paid the minimum wage.

A guy named Charlie Beacham was my first mentor at Ford. He taught me the importance of the dealers, and he rubbed my nose in the retail business.

I was unaware of the dispute in Brooklyn. I would never knowingly wear any clothes or support any company who produced clothing with alleged wage and labor violations.