We (San Francisco) have football weather during baseball season, and baseball weather during football season.

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

I hope I go to Heaven, and when I do, I'm going to do what every San Franciscan does when he gets there. He looks around and says, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.'

I sometimes worry about my short attention span, but not for long.

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

A city is not gauged by its length and width, but by the broadness of its vision and the height of its dreams.

San Franciscans have a bond of self-satisfaction bordering on smugness.

It is better to have loved and lost, but only if you have a good attorney.

There are a thousand viewpoints in the viewtiful city.

Life is short and you gotta enjoy it to the fullest while it lasts.

Books are the most tolerant of friends.

You might be poor, your shoes might be broken, but your mind is a palace.

Be - fight - feel the pain - and love the wounds!

I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.

Keep an eye on what your kids are seeing online. Parents need to stay involved in what their children are being exposed to. It's so important.

Confront a corpse at least once. The absolute absence of life is the most disturbing and challenging confrontation you will ever have.

You're a very odd man," said Bert. "I get that more often than you'd think," replied Charles.

Given that religious faith is an intrinsic element of human experience, it is best to approach and engage the subject with a sense of history and a critical sensibility.

We are in a tight corner, now, I agree. But we have been in tight corners before and come out of them. You have to be brave a little longer.