We advise others better than ourselves.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

How was she created? I'm not sure if you realize this, but it was in God's image. How can anybody dare to speak ill of something which bears such a noble imprint?

Inner beauty, warm-heartedness and compassion, is what brings about peace of mind.

It would be curious to discover who it is to whom one writes in a diary. Possibly to some mysterious personification of one's own identity.

He said he owned the land, He said he owned the sea, Through his sweet lies and manipulation, He was trying to own me

Excellence encourages one about life generally it shows the spiritual wealth of the world.

I grew up in a place that felt very integrated.

As you get older, every chance to win a championship is more crucial, because you are going to have less and less of them.

A science fiction writer should try to combine the intimately human with the grandly cosmic.

I went horseback riding and got a big chunk of horse manure kicked into my face. It has a way of slapping you right back into reality.