We all deserve to be congratulated, but sadly that would mean there's no one left to do the congratulating.

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

I've been a screenwriter for twenty-five years. Every one of my books have been optioned for movies and I have written a few of those screenplays.

On Valentine's Day, millions of men give millions of women flowers, cards and candy as a heartfelt expression of the emotion that also motivates men to observe anniversaries and birthdays-fear.

She made you decent, and in return you made her so happy

I leave for the guidance of other revolutionaries, who may tread the path which I have trod, this advice; never treat with the enemy, never to surrender to his mercy, but to fight to a finish.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

Totally without hope, one cannot live. To live without hope is to cease to live.

Fighter pilots rove in the area allotted to them in any way they like, and when they spot an enemy they attack and shoot them down.... Everything else is rubbish.

The excuse for the destruction of liberty is always the plea of necessary ' that there is no alternative

I think when people hear about a celebrity writing a book of any kind, the assumption is that it was dictated to a ghostwriter.

Any artist must expect to work amid the total, rational indifference of everybody else to their work, for years, perhaps for life.