We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

My life needs editing.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

All his senses screamed in warning, the very air reeking of forbidden magic, but duty call him forward.

A sad fact in life is that you cannot have winners without losers, no matter what you do, it's up to you to make out which one you are.

Solitude may rust your words.

But it is clear that the price of labour has no necessary connection with the price of food, since it depends entirely on the supply of labourers compared with the demand.

There's no man on this earth can even be assured he'll have a next day.

And Bobby [Jindal] and I are both Catholics.

Once the business data have been centralized and integrated, the value of the database is greater than the sum of the preexisting parts.

Steph is scary. I've never seen anyone who can shoot the ball off the dribble like him. He got it going in 4th. Every game is different.

He that is thy friend indeed, - He will help thee in thy need: - If thou sorrow, he will weep; - If you wake, he cannot sleep; - Thus of every grief in heart - He with thee doth bear a part.

Don't ask me how to burn down a building. Ask me how to grow watermelons or how to explain nature to a child. That is what I want to grow old doing. Please afford me this.