We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.

If people make fun of you, that probably means you're doing something right.

Kakimi chertyami oni viigrali holodnuyu voinu?"This translates roughly to: "How the hell did these people win the Cold War?

If you let go completely you will have complete peace.

Love the church because Jesus loves it.

I've always thought that I'm kind of a cross between a young Bill Clinton and Lyle Lovett. And I just want to say I'm proud of that. Those are two good looking guys.

I really just want to be an inspiration. I'm a regular guy, that had a dream, that came from a small town, that wanted to play guitar and just liked playing. I want to encourage people.

I don't think you learn how to act. You learn how to use your emotions and feelings.

The flower of youth never appears more beautiful than when it bends toward the sun of righteousness.

It's helpful to remind yourself that meditation is about opening and relaxing with whatever arises, without picking and choosing.

My pipe business I created from scratch; my media assets and bank I bought from the secondary market.