We are articulate but we are not particularly conversational. An Englishman won't talk for the sake of talking. He doesn't mind silence. But after the silence he sometimes says something.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness. Then if you're not a good mixer you can always fall back on your own company.

The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.

Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It's the best possible training for life.

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. 'Yes,' he said. 'Death would help.'

Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

One day I realized, without God, nothing matters. So, I asked Him into my heart.

Heavenly Father, I will always call on you, I know you will answer.

Even in winter an isolated patch of snow has a special quality.

It is one of the great joys of home ownership to fire a pistol in one's own bedroom

The real change that paintings undergo is in the perceptions of the viewer.

I think the more removed I feel, the more I warm up to the role of singer.

One of the greatest things I've learned, as an actor, was how to talk to actors.

It doesn't rain every day. Just every other day.

Riding the train gives him too much time to think, he has decided. Too much thinking can ruin you.

Hatred is keener than friendship, less keen than love.