We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.

Remember to add the most important ingredient to every recipe you make - your love!

Large streams from little mountains flow tall oaks from little acorns grow.

We have no political prisons. We have political internal exiles.

When comedy is good, it's jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It's all melody to me.

I'm a big believer that you can try to change the world based on philosophy, doctrine, and belief. But I think the thing that really drives the world is hedonism, the pleasure factor.

Time is like the wind, it lifts the light and leaves the heavy.

To captain Liverpool in any game is special, but to do it in a final, would be one of the proudest moments of my life.

The American system of political spending is so unregulated that it might make Adam Smith rethink free markets.

When grief recedes, grief is like a cloud.