We are nothing; less than nothing, and dreams. We are only what might have been, and must wait upon the tedious shores of Lethe millions of ages before we have existence, and a name.

Cards are war, in disguise of a sport.

All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.

The greatest pleasure I know, is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident.

Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

How some they have died, and some they have left me, And some are taken from me; all are departed; All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.

I have had playmates, I have had companions; In my days of childhood, in my joyful school days - All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.

A poor relation—is the most irrelevant thing in nature.

How convalescence shrinks a man back to his pristine stature! where is now the space, which he occupied so lately, in his own, in the family's eye?

For God's sake (I never was more serious) don't make me ridiculous any more by terming me gentle-hearted in print.

There is more treasure in people than in all the gold and mineral mines of the world.

Some days you live in pajamas, and your hair kind-of has that Albert Einstein look.

The I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed.

Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.

I'm doing 'Rock of Ages' one day, making out with Russell Brand. Soon after that, I'm advocating with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Cynthia Nixon for marriage equality.

You can't control how other people see you or think of you. But you have to be comfortable with that.

You reach into cyberspace and you grab some cyber stuff, build it up, and the computer will give you a 360 of it.

The importance of information is directly proportional to its improbability.

You know, I'm really not interested in someone telling me that something's good or bad.

Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information.