We are now able to create virtual realities on computers. Are we all living in one created by someone in the future?

The most interesting hipsters are ones who stop being hipsters.

Rescuing dogs is looked upon as a noble, trendy pursuit. But wouldn't rescuing a man from a homeless shelter be, in fact, more humane?

The most interesting nerds are the ones who take offense to being called nerds.

Iowa's the worst. Iowa's just nothing, just flat as far as you can see. It's the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.

Same thing every year, getting up at the crack of dawn, drinking, fighting, throwing up, pissing on walls and then you leave the house and things get bad.

If you want to find guys with small penises, go to the Hummer dealership.

Somebody stole my identity. Good luck using it without the medications.

I feel like I am too old to eat jelly. But I am too young to eat prunes. I am between grapes.

They say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds. The other 19 are shame.

Don't be like me. Look at me: monogamous, in shape, no debt, sober... I'm dead inside.

He recognized it and knew it. In others—clients, witnesses, or sometimes adversaries, he had seen or heard it: A gesture, a phrase, or a tone which exposed unintended truth in the beat of a second.

She had never felt so light of heart and it seemed to her as though her body were a shell that lay at her feet and she pure spirit. Here was Beauty.

Can one be a saint if God does not exist? That is the only concrete problem I know of today.

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

The beginning of reform is not so much to equalize property as to train the noble sort of natures not to desire more, and to prevent the lower from getting more.

I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone.

Nature is a tinkerer, not an inventor.

Each generation must go further than the last or what's the use in it?

I've always looked at myself and criticized myself first, and that's the way I'm always going to be.

The syllogism art for art's sake refers to that kind of painting which disregards, or is contrary to, public taste.