We are past opposition. I mean, we've crossed that threshold before [Donald] Trump was inaugurated.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

I don't write about what I know: I write in order to find out what I know.

Learning is one letter short of maturity.

How long is forever?Sometimes just one second

The primary purpose of life is in being in the NOW.

Be patient in trials, watchful in prayer, and never cease working.

What were we doing here? Traveling hundreds or thousands of light-years, to break our hearts?

I've been doing the 'Sherman's Lagoon' strip for about 18 years, and I was a political cartoonist before that for my hometown paper in Alexandria, Va.

Be able to live alone, even if you don't want to and think you will never find it necessary.

I hoped they couldn't run very fast with those stubby little legs and flippers, but they waddled along pretty well.

There should be asylums for habitual teetotalers, but they would probably relapse into teetotalism as soon as they got out.