We are simultaneously the most hated, loved, feared and admired nation on this planet. In short, we are Frank Sinatra.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

But if we are talking in terms of making progress in life, we must understand that "good enough" is very different from "best.

I'm a Red girl in a sea of Silvers and I can't afford to feel sorry for anyone, least of all the son of a snake.

Writing can be either readable or precise, but not at the same time.

There is a God-shaped hole in the life of every man.

What, Sheamus? Oh no, I can see him...he's pretty pale......What? oh no, he's even whiter than that. He's like a jar of mayonaisse with eyeballs and a ketchup haircut.

In our society, it's been the men who've handled most of the finances, and the women who've stood by and watched men botch things up.

Critics only speak up when they see someone shining. Average work doesn't threaten them.

I couldn't do my homework if my room wasn't clean. And it has carried on now that I am older, in a very freakish way.

I will never have a life with Gale even if I want to.

The creative adult is the child who has survived.