We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.

I had a dream about you last night.. you were holding a pine cone and introducing him as Gerald.

To have a desire means to have dependency.

Don't ever stand in your way of learning from others.Even the smartest person on earth still asks questions about what he or she doesn't know.

Silence can always be broken by the sound
Of footsteps walking over frozen groundIn winter when the melancholy treesStand abject and let their branches freeze

I'm not racist, I've got a black president.

Reaganomics, that makes sense to me. It means if you don't have enough money, it's just because poor people are hoarding it.

There used to be one writer rather than a team of writers. It's the old line about a camel being a horse designed by committee.

Instead of being ashamed of what you've been through, be proud of what you have overcome!

I am master of myself as of the universe, so I am; so I wish to be.

He that sleeps feels not the tooth-ache