We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

But I quite like the way you can talk about science without necessarily using mathematics, but using metaphors instead.

Tyler, I'd marry you again in a heartbeat. You are my fairy tale.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Love what you do, do it with passion, work hard, and never give up. Money and happiness will come to you.

Your top priority needs to be—first and foremost—eating fresh, chemical-free produce and keeping your busy family healthy.

Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial.

To lack intelligence is to be in the ring blindfolded.

A Minneapolis, Minnesota high school teacher hung this sign under the clock in her classroom. "Time will pass...Will you?"

Great men honour intelligence, little men honour stupidity.

What you see is so much less than what you get.