We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

The Holy Spirit builds on the smooth ground of humility. That's why God will tear you down in order to build you back up.

All good things comes to those who wait.

To succeed in your mission, you must have single-minded devotion to your goal.

A government is not legitimate merely because it exists.

After doing One Fine Day and playing a pediatrician on ER, I'll never have kids. I'm going to have a vasectomy.

There are none so blind as those who will not see. The most deluded people are those who choose to ignore what they already know.

We are ready to engage in international co-operation against terrorism with a view to safeguarding national interests and regional security and stability.

Perhaps the greatest gift we can offer each other is a second chance.

It has always been my dream and ambition to introduce Irish dancing to the world.

A lot of celebrities just want money, fame, power, fancy cars, houses all over the world and have people BOW DOWN to them. To me, that's frightful behaviour.