We could improve worldwide mental health if we acknowledged that parents can make you crazy.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

It was like a commercial for laundry detergent or tampons or a prescription medication with death listed as a possible side effect.

The demons were scary, but girls - Well, girls are really terrifying

I find the medicine worse than the malady.

My mom was a saint. She taught me to be terminally nice.

If you don't have the willpower to stop eating carbs, you won't have the willpower to do a dissertation. #truth.

I know now that most people are so closely concerned with themselves that they are not aware of their own individuality, I can see myself, and it has helped me to say what I want to say in paint.

Water flows uphill towards money.

The stupidity of gossips is that they become frightened when they see your face, and a little word from your mouth makes them vibrate like an electrocuted criminal.

Control language and you control thought; control thought and you control action; control action and you control the world.

As a writer, you look for someplace to start. Once you have a beginning and you've written the first two sentences, nothing else will ever change it.