We didn't stow away!" Dan protested. "You sunk our boat and pulled us out of the canal!" "Good point," Ian agreed. "Return them to the canal. Roughly, please.

Ask yourself: 'Do I feel the need to laminate?' Then teaching is for you.

When we lock things away," he said with conviction, "we're really imprisoning ourselves.

The dog always dies. Go to the library and pick out a book with an award sticker and a dog on the cover. Trust me, that dog is going down.

If it isn't on YouTube, it might as well have never happened.

Ask me. I'm a cow expert.

In our family, you don't get a childhood. We're too busy trying to dominate the world.

The thing about a cavity search is this: it has nothing to do with the dentist.

What did Romeo and Juliet do?” They died,” I remind her gently. “Some mix-up with the poison-

Don't think of it as losing a boyfriend. Think of it as gaining a stalker." -Dan Cahill

I hate France. It's like the whole country's on a diet

God generously helps to those who try to do their best without asking God’s help!

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

The pain you hide leaves the deepest scars.

I knew what it was to yearn for a life so distant it seemed that it had never been anything more than a dream.

Sometimes in the world, there's such pressure to follow a certain path that we forget the importance of learning as we go.

A statesman is any politician it's considered safe to name a school after.

Oh, the things you can find if you don't stay behind!

The spell of power never quite releases its hold.

Tee your ball high...air offers less resistance than dirt.

I started thinking: 'Okay, what's wrong with wearing a bikini? I look better than I looked in quite a few years, so why not? What am I afraid of?