We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

We learn best to listen to our own voices if we are listening at the same time to other women-whose stories for all our differences turn out if we listen well to be our stories also.

My mom makes something called green pie, which I thought was a delicacy that many people only had at Thanksgiving, but it turns out it was just Jell-O with whipped cream on it. And it's delicious.

Theatre is where my passion lies - I just love it. I love watching it, and I love doing it.

What makes it all worthwhile is we just play for the sheer enjoyment of entertaining people and... make our families and the team we played on and the people watching, proud of what we did.

Support renewable energy. Recycle. Reuse. Restore. Replenish.

The unwaking world was as hushed as a deep forest.

True purity, however, is a direction, a persistent, determined pursuit of righteousness. This direction starts in the heart, and we express it in a lifestyle that flees opportunities for compromise.

In my early days I was a sepia Hedy Lamarr. Now I'm black and a woman, singing my own way.

It takes time for the absent to assume their true shape in our thoughts.

I will never get married to the head of General Motors. I will never be the wife of a superstar. For those women, their lives are somebody else's. I will never be a Mrs. Blabidyblah!