We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

If you haven’t the strength to impose your own terms upon life, then you must accept the terms it offers you.

Politics: the art of using euphemisms, lies, emotionalism and fear-mongering to dupe average people into accepting--or even demanding--their own enslavement.

An educated mind is a questioning mind. Or is it?

It is chronic water shortage in the body that causes most diseases of the human body.Dr. Fereydoon Batmanghelidj

Great things seem complex and cause the nations to rush towards the minor things that seem easy to reach, hence, they perish. And again my memory echoes…my people die for lack of knowledge.

Betrayal is common for men with no conscience.

We live in the kind of world where courage is the most essential of virtues; without courage, the other virtues are useless.

Childbirth calls into question our very existence, requiring an expectant couple to confront not only new life but death, pain, fear and, most of all, change.

Once the computers got control, we might never get it back. We would survive at their sufferance. If we're lucky, they might decide to keep us as pets.

I haven't worked with people who are jealous or competitive. That's a particularly deadly attitude to have when you're working on a film.