We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

When we are true to ourselves, all that is toxic and burdensome simply falls away

Mediocrity is always in a rush

The only reason for the many unknown excuses I had to make up to get out of the parties, school reunions, fake get together, informal office meetings was that I didn’t like ‘Gossiping’.

It almost feels like a movie or a- I know it's been said many times - that cable television is the new novel kind of thing - but it does feel like that.

All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself.

Take care to guard against all greed, for though one may be rich, one's life does not consist of possessions.

Here we have the great irony of modern nutrition: at a time when hundreds of millions of people do not have enough to eat, hundreds of millions more are eating too much and are overweight or obese.

We ignore our feelings a lot, I realize. Many of us have to... until they really bite us in the butt.

That's what improvising is like for me. There's no tollbooth between my impulse and my action.

Do not spit into the well, you'll get drunk