We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

The moment was all we truly had: a succession of moments, a triumphal march of them, to create a life beyond compare.

It's a long time between drinks.

ABC wouldn't be a player in the news major leagues until the 1970s, when Roone Arledge brought to ABC News the energy and programming approach he had applied to ABC Sports.

I'm trying hard to keep my Australian accent. My mom would disown me if I didn't.

It's not exactly fair to make a mistake yourself and then start blaming others for it.

Grace is not opposed to effort; it's opposed to earning.

The computing scientist's main challenge is not to get confused by the complexities of his own making.

Next to her, I felt like Carrot Top in drag. Cat re: Annette

Why should every single character be an honor student who goes around helping others and never doing anything wrong? Is that like the rule or something?

I know that when I am up for it I will, and when I’m not in the mood to, I don’t make myself feel badly over it.