We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy; that watches over their dignity; that focuses their vision true--humor.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Somewhere in the ocean, a shark was missing its cold eyes because this man had them.

The art of making much show with little substance.

A cheerleader? Do I look like a guy who'd be interested in talking to a cheerleader?

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

The Chinese are the greatest that ever came about, they are the greatest currency manipulators ever.

Technology has limitations on what it can accomplish. You do not.

Whether I like it or not, I've become influential to people.

Humans will never be hampered as smooth bag. They just dragged and dropped upon his head and empty heart

All of my short films are about marriages, and I think that this probably comes from some kind of unconscious fascination with my parents' story and what they went through.

Hence the experienced soldier, once in motion, is never bewildered; once he has broken camp, he is never at a loss.