We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Art is the giving by each man of his evidence to the world. Those who wish to give, love to give, discover the pleasure of giving. Those who give are tremendously strong.

You? Nervous? Man, you've got more balls than any girl I've ever known!' 'You've known some weird girls, then, " I say, raising an eyebrow at him.

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

I wanted to explore sound, rather than composition and form.

Most of our misfortunes are more supportable than the comments of our friends upon them.

It's possible to do both as a writer - to engage and have a family and all that good stuff - and I chose not to for the sake of the career.

It is when we are trapped in incessant streams of compulsive thinking that the universe really disintegrates for us, and we lose the ability to sense the interconnectedness of all that exists.

I've come to realize that most good ideas are precisely the ones you can't describe.

My friends are the beings through whom God loves me.

Style applies to a lifestyle. It's not about being told this is trendy, you must do it. Now people have more access than ever before.