We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross.

Women don't like advice. They don't want you to fix their problems, they just want you to listen.

We definitely have our finger on the pulse. You have to keep up. We decide what to watch by what's funny.

A lot of the jokes had some build-up to some nasty stuff. But most of it was all character situations leading to what the ultimate payoff would be for that character.

If you keep up with pop culture, everybody knows the joke.

Yo! Hold my poodle!

Your love GrowingIn my heart We’re readyFor a brand-new startDon’t tell me You’ve to go Away tonight ………………

All work of man is as the swimmer's: a vast ocean threatens to devour him if he front it not bravely it will keep its word.

To be ready to fail is to be prepared for success.

I like to blur the line between fact and fiction, but not to condescend to the reader by enmeshing her/him into some sort of a postmodern coop.

When the water reaches the upper level, follow the rats.

Nothing is in the intellect that was not first in the senses.

Sometimes I come home and still can't believe it's all mine.

I got a business card because I wanna win some lunches. That's what my business card says: Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner. Gimme a call, maybe we'll have lunch. If I'm lucky!

During the battles last night and at dawn, they [ Ba'th Socialist Party fighters] had destroyed three American helicopters

Retirement is a work in progress. I try to figure out my day, and what I know about myself is that I need structure.