We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

You know, people ask me. They say 'Dan, three years later do you really want to be drawing cat whiskers on your face?' but they don't understand. The cat whiskers, they come from within.

I'd represent "Love" when it sued hypocritical writers for abuse.

Live, but do not love, because love is simply a lie, only heartache waits in its wake.

When you or your closed ones face danger, you'd tend to get closer to God and be good.

You have a right to enjoy life, but only on your own time.

I was always trying, even in pure action movies, to find what was sensitive about the character more than the pure action.

There are two miracles in Canadian history. The first is the survival of French Canada, and the second is the survival of Canada.

Obviously you have a responsibility - one would like to think there is such a thing as ethics in filmmaking.

I don't think I know a Scientologist except when I see one or two of their actors on the Hollywood screen.

I am still raw. I say I may be back. You know what lies are for. Even in your Zen heaven we shan't meet.