We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Work is much more fun than fun.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.

See? That’s it, ” he said, waving his hand. “That’s part of what makes us so great, Luce. I’m crazy. You’re crazy. Together, we make our own brand of crazy.

No thanks…Dodo, was it? I don’t know if I can watch you have performance problems twice in ten days.

The wise man does at once what the fool does finally.

It marks a big step in your development when you come to realize that other people can help you do a better job than you could do alone.

There’s no doubt that there’s some folks who just really dislike me because they don’t like the idea of a black President.

To defy the authority of empirical evidence is to disqualify oneself as someone worthy of critical engagement in a dialogue.

You have to learn the language of Hamlet.

Absence of proof isn't proof of absence.

As I swim through the summer tide of vulgarity, I find that's what I'm looking for: Movies that at least feel affection for their characters. Raunchy is OK. Cruel is not.