We kinda hated sitcoms when we sat down and talked about this. We wanted to do something that was in the sitcom vain but totally different.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

I only want one thing of men, and that is, that they should leave me alone.

He who has no faith in himself can never have faith in God.

My nerves did a jitter dance, stuck between two wolves.

Never chase a lie. Let it alone, and it will run itself to death.

It's good to play 100 per cent live - no tricks, no samples, no messing about.

Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.

I do three things. I do teaching, I do conducting and I do playing. And each one of those sort of helps the other.

The weak can never forgive.

I squeeze oranges every morning to make juice.

Our shipping and sea service is our best and safest defence as being the only fortification and rampart of England.