We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

TRUST that if they strayed from your path – they DO NOT belong there. Not everybody can go where you’re going.

If success was an overnight journey, its prize would become valueless.

I’m like a cat. I swear I havenine lives

The northern lights rise like a kiss to the sea

Making music can sometimes make me a bit restless, so it's fun when I get to be expressive in another way.

A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.

Doc tips his hat to dogs as he drives by and the dogs look up and smile at him.

Homosexuality is a mental disorder that can be cured through counselling.

It does not matter if you believe in God, because God believes in you.