We may not pay Satan reverence for that would be indiscreet but we can at least respect his talents.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Maybe talking like they do -- like every trivial conversation is the height of their youth -- is what being friends is. There's no way I would do that

When they see you down get up on your feet and try again

A fool friend always does something that the enemy wishes.

I believe it's important to be open and honest, especially with your friends.

Vodka Redbull: Upper meets downer in an effervescent hybrid of bubble gum and junkie piss

In my country (Belgium), if you sit beside the phone long enough, it will ring and you will be invited to play rugby for Belgium!

I also want to thank Arizona citizens for their efforts at conserving energy last summer.

Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet.

Punch a man on the nose, kick an old man downstairs, shoot somebody or any old thing like that, that’s my job. But argue with women in love—no thank you!

I didn't even realize that people bought contemporary art . . . that people actually paid for it.