We must not indulge in unfavorable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe they are no worse than others, and we teach the good that they are good in vain.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press.

The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend.

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.

Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.

She's been on more laps than a napkin.

I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.

Broadway is a main artery of New York life - the hardened artery.

Too many people expect wonders from democracy, when the most wonderful thing of all is just having it.

It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.

Be weary of the unknown inside of every human being, but do not fear it, embrace it.

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows

You don't need to be a great singer to sing, but you have to practice singing to be a great singer.

No offence to Nicki Minaj, but her career has essentially been a Lil’ Kim tribute

I think each writer has to seek her most energetic prose style. She has to find a way to write so that nobody can deny it.

Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way.

All I ever wanted to do was be on stage, if possible acting in Shakespeare. And to be as good as I could be.

Happiness is total and complete satisfaction with yourself

I always try to keep my constituents as up-to-date as possible with what's going on here in Washington.

Kids are shy and they often don't want to make eye contact or say "thank you."