We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee. That's just a joke, for you in the media.

Four years of Jimmy Carter gave us two titanic Reagan landslides, peace and prosperity for eight blessed years - and even a third term for his feckless vice president, George H.W. Bush.

I'm getting a little fed up with hearing about, oh, civilian casualties. I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning.

Usually the nonsense liberals spout is kind of cute, but in wartime their instinctive idiocy is life-threatening.

I highly approve of Romney's decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.

Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

I might be in favor of national healthcare if it required all Democrats to get their heads examined.

In the druidical religion of liberalism, not separating your recyclables is a sin, but abortion is just a medical procedure.

There is no surer proof of Christ's divinity than that he is still so hated some two thousand years after his death.

Liberals want the family destroyed, they want religion destroned, because then you have loyalty directly to the state.

Liberals can't just come out and say, they want to take more of our money, kill babies, and discriminate on the basis of race.

I chose fat and functional over slender and miserable.

[Repentance] means unlearning all the self-conceit and self -will that we have been training ourselves into... It means killing part of yourself, under-going a kind of death.

War is...a trinity of violence, chance, and reason.

I don't know if I'm so righteous.

Nothing has ever been accomplished in any walk of life without enthusiasm, without motivation, and without perseverance.

The kind need kindness most of all.

I don’t even think of myself as a quote, unquote star - that’s really douchey. I think of myself as just like . . . a dance commander.

When you move to the city, you really notice how ugly people can be. And that's something you don't really have to deal with in the country. So I do miss that.

He really did not care whether he survived or not, so long as it rendered him unconscious and absolved him of responsibility.

The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.