We need to revitalize the American spirit. People are always asking ‘What would the founding fathers do, ’ but I have yet to witness a single séance.

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

Every life deserves a certain amount of dignity, no matter how poor or damaged the shell that carries it.

You’ve got a big ego, Fuentes.”“That’s not all I’ve got.

The quickest methods aren't always the fastest methods

I do not mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is the language I don't understand.

When we speak freely, let us speak plainly, for plain speech is wholesome; especially, plain speech about public affairs and public men.

No man can be a competent legislator who does not add to an upright intention and a sound judgment a certain degree of knowledge of the subject on which he is to legislate.

Nowadays anyone can show their art to anybody via the Internet.

It's the "Success Paradox." When a set of behaviors has gotten you somewhere, you keep doing them even though the circumstances have changed.

I love shooting guns. Not at people or animals, but I love shooting blanks!

I've learned a heck of a lot this way [making Dark Tower comics]. I've also learned a lot from the editors at Marvel, who are always an equal part in the creative team.