We once installed a $1.49 trap in a woman's toilet and she never had ghost problems again.

We are firm believers of the paranormal, but we believe over 80 percent of all claims can be disproved.

If your cat's speaking Latin, you might have a problem.

All a skeptic is is someone who hasn't had an experience yet.

Our EMF meter was jumping off the charts. We found her alarm clock was causing crazy electro-magnetic fields around it. We spent $22.99 on a nice digital clock, and she never saw an apparition again.

Imagination belongs to hope. It’s the creative dance of possibility.

Without Revolutionary theory, there can be no Revolutionary Movement.

You are worth fighting for.

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.

I used to dream of a week-long beach vacation with white sand under my toes... right now, I'd settle for 48 hours at a Motel 6 with some Lysol and a UV lamp.

My plans are perfect, and when I start to carry them out, may God have mercy on Bobby Lee, for I shall have none.

Leaders evoke emotional connections in followers only to the extent that the followers are emotionally needy.

It's always cool on the airplane when people are watching “SVU.” It’s funny. And it’s always the reruns.

You better check your playlist. Because you are on the wrong track.

I exercise daily to keep my figure. I keep patting my hand against the bottom of my chin. It works too. I have the thinnest fingers in town.