We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Water is sacred to all Human Beings. If you do not have water, you cannot have life. I always remember to honor and pour the water because it is traditional.

No book worth its salt is meant to put you to sleep, it's meant to make you jump out of your bed in your underwear and run and beat the author's brains out.

I know how you feel. But people can't surpass their true design. Our talents, our gifts. All programmed into us from the start. I know this because since birth... I was made to destroy.

Seize the day and put the least possible trust in tomorrow.

A man is not necessarily a master because he happened to compose two or three centuries ago. Let us beware of the worship of mere antiquity.

You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, 'Why me?'

I am really looking forward to driving another of my father?s car at the show in Rotterdam.

Emotions are the color of the soul.

Rose early to seek God and found Him whom my soul loveth. Who would not rise early to meet such company?

I have lived temperately....I double the doctor's recommendation of a glass and a half wine each day and even treble it with a friend.